Some of the most
significant material I write in either of my books is the stuff I edit out of
the book. This is usually because I can't find an appropriate context or
setting for a particular scene or a line of dialogue involving a particular
character would be out of that person's character.
Two examples of scenes that I had edited out of "Topless
Delivery" take place at Chad and Heather's wedding reception at the Grande
Dunes Resort. In the first scene, when David and Ashley dance together
for the first time outside the studio, I edited the dialogue to keep it within
the bounds of Ashley's conservative character.
Ziggy plays a song that we really like, which happens to be “Nights in White
Satin” by the Moody Blues, so I smile at Ashley and softly ask, “Ashley, may I
have this dance?”
I wrote her original
response as, "She wraps her arms tightly around me, brushes her inner
thigh up against my side, and seductively replies, 'David, may I have this
fuck?'"
I edited that line because it would be totally out of character for
Ashley. As a conservative Southern belle, not only does she not use that
kind of language but does not tolerate it in her presence. However, she
does get very horny whenever she dances, whether on stage at a strip club or
out on the town with David. The final edition goes like this.
She wraps her arms
tightly around me and replies, “Honey, I thought you’d be too shy to
ask.” Here goes nothing.
The second scene I have edited out of "Topless Delivery" takes place
out on the oceanfront patio at the Marriott Grande Dunes Resort, where Chad and
Heather's wedding reception is taking place. In this scene, David brings
out his laptop computer and uploads the video footage of Pure Ecstasy's musical
performance from earlier in the evening to YouTube.
I bring out my trusty
laptop computer and set it up on a small round table on the oceanfront
patio. Once the setup is complete, I take the memory card from the video
camera out of my pocket and insert it into the card reader on the side of my
computer. There is a strong wireless internet connection here. Now
that I've obtained Michelle's consent on behalf of the band, it's time to
upload the Pure Ecstasy concert video to my YouTube. Two minutes later, I
see that the upload is successful. Let's see how the video turned out.
Ashley emerges from the
Grand Ballroom and says, "Hi, sweetie. Michelle told me that I'd
find you out here uploading our performance onto YouTube. I can hardly
wait to see it myself."
Because YouTube videos
are limited to 10 minutes in length, I have to upload six different segments
onto my account. The first segment features my performance of "Dance
Across the Sky," the song I had written for my future First Dance with
Ashley. Chad and Heather asked me to play it live for theirs. Now,
it's our turn to give it a spin.
I click on the link and
ask her, "Ashley, may I have this dance?" She touches my cheek
and sweetly replies, "David, I'd be honored."
It is not until we
start dancing real slow and real close do I realize that I accidentally clicked
on the link to my rendition of "O Canada", which I played in a slow
string setting. Weirdly enough, she doesn't seem to notice my little
technical glitch...until she notices a tear in my eye.
Ashley wipes the tear
from my face and sweetly asks, " Sentant un peu la nostalgie,
sommes-nous?" Feeling a little homesick, are we?
I softly reply,
"Oui, un peu," as she wraps her arms even more tightly around me and
kisses me. Yes, a little.
After a hot, deep kiss
that causes her knees to buckle a little bit, she asks, "David, à quand
remonte la dernière fois que vous avez visité Toronto?" David, when
was the last time you visited Toronto?
I reply, "Ashley,
il ya eu au moins dix ans despuis que je suis là." It's been
at least ten years since I've been there.
She says, "Toronto
est une ville magnifique. J'adorerais y aller avec
vous." Toronto is such a beautiful city. I'd love to
go there with you.
Reaching the laptop a
few seconds later, I check my YouTube playlist and make sure that the segments
of Pure Ecstasy's concerts were loaded in the correct order...and they
were. I click on the first segment, which features my song, "Dance
Across the Sky."
I kiss her and say,
"J`ai hàte de vous montrer les endroits où j`ai grandi. Peut-ètre
que nous pouvons mème prendre un jeu des Blue Jays au Rogers
Centre." I look forward to showing you the places where I
grew up. Perhaps we can catch a Blue Jays game at Rogers Centre.
Upon hearing my piano
intro, I gently take Ashley's hand and softly ask, "Ashley, Puis-je avoir
cette danse?" Ashley, may I have this dance?
Her deep sapphire eyes
light up as she sweetly, yet excitedly, replies,
"Absolument!" Absolutely!
As we dance slowly and
gracefully out here on the patio, we gaze into each other's eyes and lose all
sense of time and space. We don't notice that several other couples join
us in what we thought was a very private dance. We conclude this dance
with a hot, deep kiss that leaves us both tripping. Only when we hear
them cheering are we aware of their presence.
I edited this scene
completely out of the book because one would have to hear the music and the
dialogue in order to understand the meaning. I got the idea from a remark
made to me by the daughter of a lady I once dated, referring to a particular
song that her mother liked. I replied by saying, "That would be like
dancing to the national anthem," as that song held a special
significance in my life. However, if "Topless Delivery" is ever
made into a movie, I hope to use that scene in the film version.
Another scene I edited out of "Forever Autumn" takes place at the
start of a Myrtle Beach Pelicans baseball game at BB&T Coastal Field.
The Color Guard have taken up their posts in front of home plate and
Katie Evans, Michelle's 16-year old daughter, emerges to sing the National
Anthem with Michelle accompanying her on the stadium organ up in the Press Box.
It is a very hot and humid evening on the Grand Strand with the
temperature approaching 35 C. David makes the introduction over the
Public Address System.
"Ladies and
Gentlemen, to honor America, we ask that you please rise, remove your hats, and
join the beautiful Katie Evans, accompanied by Michelle Evans on the
BB&T Coastal Field Roland Organ, in the singing of...", as Katie
collapses onto the field from the extreme heat.
I exclaim,
"OH MY GOD!!! THEY KILLED KATIE!!!"
Michelle leaps out of
her seat at the electronic keyboard, lunges towards the Press Box window, and
screams at the top of her lungs, "YOU BASTARDS!!!"
Katie revives about a
minute later just as Marty and an Emergency Medical Technician arrive to check
up on her. She gets up slowly, takes a sip of the Gatorade that the EMT
offers her, and proceeds to belt out the anthem...with a bit of a laugh in her
voice She then walks slowly towards the Pelicans' 1st base dugout to a
standing ovation. Michelle and I are very relieved that Katie is all
right and her voice is none the worse for wear.
Katie and Marty arrive
in the Press Box a few minutes later, laughing their heads off. Noticing
the look of exasperation on my face, Michelle hugs me and says with a laugh,
"Oh, David. Katie and I planned that little joke weeks ago.
Didn't you see the little note I wrote on your in-game script?"
I reply, "I saw
the little note, 'Think South Park', but had no idea what you were talking
about at the time."
It
turns out that Katie is not only a great singer, but a very talented actress as
well. She and Michelle had planned this practical joke for several weeks
which had everyone in attendance, including Marty and David, falling for the
gag. Upon reading the in-game script, David noticed a handwritten note
from Michelle telling him to "think South Park." Only a
"South Park" fan would get the joke.
