The Stuff I Leave Behind

Some of the most significant material I write in either of my books is the stuff I edit out of the book.  This is usually because I can't find an appropriate context or setting for a particular scene or a line of dialogue involving a particular character would be out of that person's character.

Two examples of scenes that I had edited out of "Topless Delivery" take place at Chad and Heather's wedding reception at the Grande Dunes Resort.  In the first scene, when David and Ashley dance together for the first time outside the studio, I edited the dialogue to keep it within the bounds of Ashley's conservative character.

Ziggy plays a song that we really like, which happens to be “Nights in White Satin” by the Moody Blues, so I smile at Ashley and softly ask, “Ashley, may I have this dance?”

I wrote her original response as, "She wraps her arms tightly around me, brushes her inner thigh up against my side, and seductively replies, 'David, may I have this fuck?'"

I edited that line because it would be totally out of character for Ashley.  As a conservative Southern belle, not only does she not use that kind of language but does not tolerate it in her presence.  However, she does get very horny whenever she dances, whether on stage at a strip club or out on the town with David.  The final edition goes like this.  

She wraps her arms tightly around me and replies, “Honey, I thought you’d be too shy to ask.”  Here goes nothing.

The second scene I have edited out of "Topless Delivery" takes place out on the oceanfront patio at the Marriott Grande Dunes Resort, where Chad and Heather's wedding reception is taking place.  In this scene, David brings out his laptop computer and uploads the video footage of Pure Ecstasy's musical performance from earlier in the evening to YouTube.  

I bring out my trusty laptop computer and set it up on a small round table on the oceanfront patio.  Once the setup is complete, I take the memory card from the video camera out of my pocket and insert it into the card reader on the side of my computer.  There is a strong wireless internet connection here.  Now that I've obtained Michelle's consent on behalf of the band, it's time to upload the Pure Ecstasy concert video to my YouTube.  Two minutes later, I see that the upload is successful.  Let's see how the video turned out.  

Ashley emerges from the Grand Ballroom and says, "Hi, sweetie.  Michelle told me that I'd find you out here uploading our performance onto YouTube.  I can hardly wait to see it myself."  

Because YouTube videos are limited to 10 minutes in length, I have to upload six different segments onto my account.  The first segment features my performance of "Dance Across the Sky," the song I had written for my future First Dance with Ashley.  Chad and Heather asked me to play it live for theirs.  Now, it's our turn to give it a spin.  

I click on the link and ask her, "Ashley, may I have this dance?" She touches my cheek and sweetly replies, "David, I'd be honored."  

It is not until we start dancing real slow and real close do I realize that I accidentally clicked on the link to my rendition of "O Canada", which I played in a slow string setting.  Weirdly enough, she doesn't seem to notice my little technical glitch...until she notices a tear in my eye.  

 Ashley wipes the tear from my face and sweetly asks, " Sentant un peu la nostalgie, sommes-nous?" Feeling a little homesick, are we?  

I softly reply, "Oui, un peu," as she wraps her arms even more tightly around me and kisses me.  Yes, a little.  

After a hot, deep kiss that causes her knees to buckle a little bit, she asks, "David, à quand remonte la dernière fois que vous avez visité Toronto?"  David, when was the last time you visited Toronto?  

I reply, "Ashley, il ya eu au moins dix ans despuis que je suis là."  It's been at least ten years since I've been there.   

She says, "Toronto est une ville magnifique.  J'adorerais y aller avec vous."  Toronto is such a beautiful city.  I'd love to go there with you.  

Reaching the laptop a few seconds later, I check my YouTube playlist and make sure that the segments of Pure Ecstasy's concerts were loaded in the correct order...and they were.  I click on the first segment, which features my song, "Dance Across the Sky." 

I kiss her and say, "J`ai hàte de vous montrer les endroits où j`ai grandi.  Peut-ètre que nous pouvons mème prendre un jeu des Blue Jays au Rogers Centre."  I look forward to showing you the places where I grew up.  Perhaps we can catch a Blue Jays game at Rogers Centre.

Upon hearing my piano intro, I gently take Ashley's hand and softly ask, "Ashley, Puis-je avoir cette danse?"  Ashley, may I have this dance?

 Her deep sapphire eyes light up as she sweetly, yet excitedly, replies, "Absolument!"  Absolutely!

 As we dance slowly and gracefully out here on the patio, we gaze into each other's eyes and lose all sense of time and space.  We don't notice that several other couples join us in what we thought was a very private dance.  We conclude this dance with a hot, deep kiss that leaves us both tripping.  Only when we hear them cheering are we aware of their presence.

I edited this scene completely out of the book because one would have to hear the music and the dialogue in order to understand the meaning.  I got the idea from a remark made to me by the daughter of a lady I once dated, referring to a particular song that her mother liked.  I replied by saying, "That would be like dancing to the national anthem," as that song held a special significance in my life.  However, if "Topless Delivery" is ever made into a movie, I hope to use that scene in the film version.

Another scene I edited out of "Forever Autumn" takes place at the start of a Myrtle Beach Pelicans baseball game at BB&T Coastal Field.  The Color Guard have taken up their posts in front of home plate and Katie Evans, Michelle's 16-year old daughter, emerges to sing the National Anthem with Michelle accompanying her on the stadium organ up in the Press Box.  It is a very hot and humid evening on the Grand Strand with the temperature approaching 35 C.  David makes the introduction over the Public Address System.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, to honor America, we ask that you please rise, remove your hats, and join the beautiful Katie Evans, accompanied by Michelle Evans on the BB&T Coastal Field Roland Organ, in the singing of...", as Katie collapses onto the field from the extreme heat.

I exclaim, "OH MY GOD!!! THEY KILLED KATIE!!!"

Michelle leaps out of her seat at the electronic keyboard, lunges towards the Press Box window, and screams at the top of her lungs, "YOU BASTARDS!!!"

Katie revives about a minute later just as Marty and an Emergency Medical Technician arrive to check up on her.  She gets up slowly, takes a sip of the Gatorade that the EMT offers her, and proceeds to belt out the anthem...with a bit of a laugh in her voice  She then walks slowly towards the Pelicans' 1st base dugout to a standing ovation.  Michelle and I are very relieved that Katie is all right and her voice is none the worse for wear.  

Katie and Marty arrive in the Press Box a few minutes later, laughing their heads off.  Noticing the look of exasperation on my face, Michelle hugs me and says with a laugh, "Oh, David.  Katie and I planned that little joke weeks ago.  Didn't you see the little note I wrote on your in-game script?"

I reply, "I saw the little note, 'Think South Park', but had no idea what you were talking about at the time."

It turns out that Katie is not only a great singer, but a very talented actress as well.  She and Michelle had planned this practical joke for several weeks which had everyone in attendance, including Marty and David, falling for the gag.  Upon reading the in-game script, David noticed a handwritten note from Michelle telling him to "think South Park."  Only a "South Park" fan would get the joke.