22 June 2012

The Official "Topless Delivery" Quiz

Now that you've read "Topless Delivery", it's time to test your knowledge with a little quiz.  There are 50 multiple-choice questions on this quiz.  Choose your answers carefully.

1. Where does David complete his MBA Degree?
a. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
b. University of Illinois at Chicago
c. University of Chicago
d. Coastal Carolina University

2. To which strip club did David take his first Myrtle Beach delivery?
a. Penthouse Club
b. Masters Club
c. Crazy Horse
d. Derriere's

3.  The "Yankee Clipper" is the nickname for which car?
a. Grey 2003 Mitsubishi Eclipse GTS Spyder
b. Black 2005 Chrysler 300C
c. White 2006 Pontiac Solstice GXP
d. Black 2005 Mercedes-Benz 500S

4. Match the girls of Pure Ecstasy to their instruments.
Ashley:            a. Bass guitar, cello, vocals
Heather:          b. Keyboards, vocals
Shelli:              c. Drums, percussion, vocals
Rachel:            d. Guitars, harmonicas, vocals
Kristy:             e. Guitars, fiddle, steel guitar, vocals

5. Which beauty pageant does Ashley win in the story?
a. Miss South Carolina
b. Miss America
c. Miss Sun Fun
d. Miss Bikini Wahine

6. Near which city is the Cooper Plantation?
a. Charleston
b. Myrtle Beach
c. Hilton Head Island
d. Savannah

7. Which former flame of David's has since married Ashley's former college boyfriend?
a. Linda
b. Teresa
c. Toni
d. Julie

8. Where does Ashley show David the real meaning of "Sex on the Beach"?
a. Litchfield Beach
b. Myrtle Beach
c. Surfside Beach
d. Garden City Beach

9. Where does David first meet Ashley?
a. Club Paradise
b. Papa's Pizza
c. Palace Resort
d. Regency Towers

10. To which song do David and Ashley dance together for the first time?
a. "Dance Across the Sky"
b. "Nights in White Satin"
c. "O Canada"
d. "Strange Magic"

11. At which business school does David's father currently teach?
a. Rotman
b. Liautaud
c. Booth
d. Kellogg

12. At which business school does Dr. Eisenberg serve as the dean?
a. Rotman
b. Liautaud
c. Booth
d. Wall

13. Match the business school to its host university.
Rotman:          a: University of Chicago
Booth:             b: Coastal Carolina University
Liautaud:         c: University of Toronto
Wall:               d: University of Illinois at Chicago

14. Dr. Eisenberg is the Public Address Announcer for which Chicago sports team?
a. Blackhawks
b. Bulls
c. Cubs
d. White Sox

15. What hurricane sent David and Ashley on a three-week road trip to Chicago?
a. Claudette
b. Diana
c. Erika
d. Frances

16. Which breed is the bitch that David pets at the trailer park on Highway 15?
a. Golden Retriever
b. Yellow Labrador Retriever
c. Chesapeake Retriever
d. Black Labrador Retriever

17.  Which breed is Ashley's cat, Princess?
a. Seal-Point Siamese
b. Long-haired Tabby
c. Seal-Point Himalayan
d. Persian

18.  Where was Chad's first wife, Vanessa, killed while working on 9/11?
 a. World Trade Center
b. The Pentagon
c.  Shanksville, Pennsylvania
d. Detroit

19.  Who introduced Chad to Heather after having a brief fling with him?
a. Kristy
b. Shelli
c. Ashley
d. Michelle

20.  Which song does David play to conclude Chad and Heather's wedding?
a. "Tiger Rag"
b. "Buckeye Battle Cry"
c. "Hail to the Victors"
d. "On! Wisconsin"

21. Which song does David perform at Chad and Heather's wedding reception?
a.  "One Step Into the Light"
b. "Dance Across the Sky"
c. "Watching and Waiting"
d. "Avalon"

22.  Where does Ashley have her Chicago photo shoot?
a. South Shore Country Club Park
b. North Avenue Beach
c. Atlantis
d. Wrigley Field

23. What is David and Ashley's common secondary language?
a. Spanish
b. French
c. German
d. Russian

24.  What "dark confession" does David make to Ashley at his parents' house?
a. He has Asperger Syndrome.
b. He is gay.
c. He is a werewolf.
d. He likes to take trips on LSD.

25. At which strip club does Ashley conclude her career as a dancer?
a. Club Paradise
b. Crazy Horse
c. Pink Pony
d. Atlantis

26. With whom does Chad have his "final fling"?
a. Ashley
b. Shelli
c. Kristy
d. Rachel

27. Where is the Skybox located?
a. Palace Resort
b. Regency Towers
c. Landmark Resort
d. Bluewater Resort

28.  What is David's primary musical instrument?
a. Guitar
b. Bass guitar
c. Keyboards
d. Drums

29.  When does Heather teach David the guitar riffs for her song?
a. During a rehearsal with Pure Ecstasy
b. During her "final fling" with David.
c. During a jam session at the beach.
d. While visiting the Cooper Plantation.

30.  For whom does David drive the "Topless Delivery Vehicle"?
a. Big D Pizza
b. Papa's Pizza
c. Pizza Palace
d. Ultimate Pizza.

31. Where did Ashley complete her undergraduate degree?
a. University of South Carolina
b. University of Southern California
c. Clemson University
d. Coastal Carolina University

32. Where did Ashley's late brother and her father attend college?
a. United States Military Academy (West Point)
b. United States Naval Academy (Annapolis)
c. The Citadel
d. Virginia Military Institute

33. What is "Time Out"?
a. A sports bar
b. A strip club
c. A gay bar
d. An oceanfront tavern

34. Michelle joins "Pure Ecstasy" on saxophone for a cover of which Moody Blues song?
a. "Nights in White Satin"
b. "Watching and Waiting"
c. "Ride My See-Saw"
d. "I'm Just a Singer in a Rock and Roll Band"

35. Why does David leave Tony's Bachelor Party just in the nick of time?
a. He has to work early the next morning.
b. He sees several police cruisers streaming into the Pink Pony parking lot behind him.
c. He runs into someone he has been trying to avoid.
d. He has a hot date with Ashley tonight.

36. For which TV station does Mandy work as a reporter?
a. Channel 6
b. Channel 13
c. Channel 15
d. Channel 43

37. Where does Tony deliver a large order and perform an impromptu striptease act?
a. Ladies' Night Out
b. His own fiancée's Bachelorette Party
c. Time Out
d. Pink Pony

38. Which Papa's Pizza driver sang "Happy Birthday" on a delivery to a birthday party?
a. David
b. Brianna
c. Tony
d. Diana

39.  Where does David finally get hired after Hurricane Erika destroys Papa's Pizza?
a. Halliburton and Warhol
b. Papa's Pizza Corporate Headquarters
c. Burgess and Cooper
d. Coastal Carolina University

40. What is the relationship between David and Megan?
a. They were former lovers.
b. They were business school classmates at UIC.
c. They were business colleagues.
d. They played in the same band.

41. Which class was David's "Achilles Heel" at UIC?
a. Accounting
b. Economics
c. Finance
d. Business Ethics

42. Which major university did Michelle attend?
a. Illinois
b. Michigan
c. Ohio State
d. South Carolina

43. To which private country club do Ashley's parents belong?
a. Wachesaw Plantation Country Club
b. Grande Dunes Country Club
c. Dunes Country Club
d. Prestwick Country Club

44. Where is the Chicago Office of Halliburton & Warhol located?
a. AON Center
b. Sears Tower
c. John Hancock Center
d. Chase Building

45. What is the "2-Meter Rule"?
a. An exotic dancer must maintain a distance of 2 m from her customers while on stage.
b. Dancers must wear at least a g-string and pasties when performing.
c. All strip clubs must close by midnight every night.
d. All of the above

46. Which state recently passed a $5 "Pole Tax" to fund Rape Crisis Services?
a. South Carolina
b. Indiana
c. Texas
d. Illinois

47. Which state prohibits smoking in bars and nightclubs?
a. Illinois
b. Indiana
c. South Carolina
d. Texas

48. Match the girls of "Pure Ecstasy" to their stage names:
Ashley:            a. Crystal
Heather:          b. Diamond
Kristy:             c. Jade
Rachel:            d. Ruby
Shelli:              e. Sapphire

49. Which city is the "Drawbridge Capitol of the World"?
a. Miami
b. Chicago
c. London
d. New York

50. David's former college roommate is the lead singer on which band?
a. Hot Honchos in Love
b. The Leathermen
c. The Flaming Queers
d. Young Studs in Heat

Answer Key

1 b, 2 d, 3 a, 4 cdeab, 5 c, 6 a, 7 c, 8 a, 9 d, 10 b,
11 c, 12 b, 13 cabd, 14 c, 15 c, 16 d, 17 c, 18 a, 19 c, 20 c,
21 b, 22 b, 23 b, 24 a, 25 d, 26 c, 27 a, 28 c, 29 b, 30 b,
31 a, 32 c, 33 c, 34 d, 35 b, 36 c, 37 b, 38 d, 39 c, 40 b,
41 c, 42 c, 43 a, 44 b, 45 d, 46 c, 47a, 48 baedc, 49 b, 50 c

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